It is common for woman to be thinking about becoming a mother from a very young age. When she is playing with her dolls, when she is helping her mother with other siblings, the seed of becoming a mother one day is being planted.

So having a baby is the fulfilment of a lifelong dream of so many women. For most women, besides having the right partner in life, becoming a mother is the most important thing that a woman does. It is more important for most woman than the job, no matter how successful her career becomes. Jobs come and go but a mother will always be a mother to her children no matter how old she is, and how old her children are. It is truly a wonderful lifelong relationship.

In the past woman typically conceived years earlier than today. It was common for women in their 20’s to become mothers. This is much less common in western society today. Women often don’t settle down and don’t find the right partner until later. They want to travel, they want material things, which ultimately don’t give life fulfilment. They are encouraged to pursue a career and soon realise that a pregnancy may interfere with this and handicap their career ambitions. I remember when my daughters were at school the focus was the right career and there was no mention of becoming a mother and the work-life balance needed to achieve both. I suspect school rarely prepares a woman for becoming a mother.

They are usually starting the think about the extra time commitments and expenses with pregnancy and parenting and the impact having a baby will have on their time, personal freedoms, travel, lifestyle. They know how tiring it will be as a new mum from talking to other mothers and wonder especially when going back to work how they will fit it all into the day.

Having a baby is a huge commitment. But it is so worthwhile. A pregnant patient with two children said you me yesterday. “I am so busy and tired, but I would not change a thing.”

I feel sad for women who decide not to have baby. Often this leaves an emptiness in their lives that can’t be filled. Often, their network of friends changes as most of their friends are mothers and so they have grown apart and they have less in common. And as they get old there can be an increasing loneliness.

The timing of when to have a baby is never right.  It is a matter of making the decision and life will sort itself out around the pregnancy.

Pregnancy doesn’t always just happen when a woman wants it. Some women can try for many years before successfully having a baby. So, I suggest you start trying sooner rather than later. If you conceive easily, it will mean you will still be youthful when your children have grown up and be a young a grandmother. If you start trying when young and can’t fall pregnant easily you are not running out of time to conceive. As well pregnancy at a younger age has less risk of complications for both mother and baby.

In our case I was in my final year of medical school when my wife Robyn conceived. We were financially broke. Only my wife was employed. We were time poor. I was a busy medical student and studying for my exams. We lived in a rental property and had mostly second-hand furniture. But we managed. We have no regrets about starting our family so young.

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